Drunken Dreams
by EmilyEphebiphobia
Summary: There is a reason why you shouldn't get the Inception team drunk. Here's why. PURE CRACK, short one-shots.
1. Cobb

**I got bored. That is all. Enjoy! :D But do not continue if you can't stomach crack. Not the drug, the story. **

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><p><strong>Drunken Dreams<strong>

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><p><strong>Cobb<br>Dj Got Us Fallin' In Love by Usher**

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><p>Cobb looked around, raising an eyebrow. Somehow he was in a night club.<p>

In a seventies outfit.

What the hell did Eames put in his drink?

Anyway...

He looked around the nightclub once more catching his wife's eye. She was dressed in a short dress, and poofy hair.

_(yeah man)_  
><em>So we back in the club<em>  
><em>Get that bodies rocking from side to side<br>(side to side)_

He recognized this club as the club Eames had persuaded the team to go to one night. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. Mal walked up to him, smiling seductively.

"Let's dance."

He got up following her as she pulled at his hand.

_Thank God the week is done_  
><em>I feel like a zombie gone back to life (back to life)<em>  
><em>Hands up, and suddenly we all got our hands up<em>

She started dancing, pulling him closer by his neck, suddenly throwing her hands up in the air. Cobb followed suit, a lazy grin plastered on his face.

_No control of my body_  
><em>Ain't I seen you before?<em>  
><em>I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes<em>

He realized then that because he was dressed for the seventies, you had to act like it too.

He figured that one out when he started dancing like Elvis Presley.

_'Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again_  
><em>Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again<em>  
><em>So dance, dance, like it's the last, last night of your life, life<em>  
><em>Gonna get you right<em>  
><em>'Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again<em>

It turned into a drunken dance contest, only it was girls vesus boys, and Cobb found himself singing along happily.

_Keep downing drinks like there's no tomorrow  
>there's just right now, now, now, now, now, now<em>  
><em>Gonna set the roof on fire<em>  
><em>Gonna burn this motherfucker down, down, down, down, down, down<em>  
><em>Hands up, when the music drops<em>

He turned to his left then right, seeing Arthur (The fuck?), Yusuf (..), Saito, and Eames (No surprise there), dancing next to him. Across from him, He could see Ariadne to Mal's right.

He spun around mimicing Usher.

_We both put our hands up_  
><em>Put your hands on my body<em>  
><em>Swear I seen you before<em>  
><em>I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes<em>

They all threw their hands up, and suddenly he was doing the tango with Mal, the damned seventies platform boots killing his feet. He looked to his left, seeing Arthur and Ariadne dancing, along with Yusuf and Saito dancing together. Eames was off with one of his projections.

_'Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again_  
><em>Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again<em>  
><em>So dance, dance, like it's the last, last night of your life, life<em>  
><em>Gonna get you right<em>  
><em>'Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again<em>

He breathed heavily, walking over to the bar, and sitting down. His mind tried to go through what Eames had put in his drink and how he did it before he heard a mike squeak and then the scariest thing happened.

Miles started rapping.

_"In the cover of the music  
>Get naked baby<br>I'm sorry chica  
>Better holla at Tyrone<br>Let him know how I jump through your fruit loops  
>Call a chico Toucan<br>We're from the blocka blocka Opa Laca  
>Were the boys get loose like wacka flacka<br>Oh no man, it's global  
>Was' up<br>Colale flacka  
>I wanna be your gyno, no not your doctor<br>Dale abre ai  
>Papa Nicholas baby<br>Let me see  
>Yo soy el cubanito<br>Que esta tostaito  
>Yo fresco, no OK<br>maybe un poquito." _

He rubbed his face watching his almost sixty father in law up on stage rapping his heart away.

"What the hell." He muttered, downing his drink and heading back out onto the dance floor, looking for Mal.

_'Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again  
>Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again<br>So dance, dance, like it's the last, last night of your life, life  
>Gonna get you right<br>'Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again_

He found her, recognizing her short curly hair, and tapped her shoulder, watching her turn.

It was Fischer.

Senior.

_Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again_  
><em>So dance, dance, like it's the last, last night of your life, life<em>  
><em>Gonna get you right<em>  
><em>'Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again<em>  
><em>Yeah, thank you DJ<em>

He sighed, cursing Eames, finally finding Mal and singing along again, before Mal stopped dancing suddenly pulling out a knife.

"You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you where you want to go.." She screamed and stabbed him.

.

**END. **

**Lmfao. Again, not idea where this came from. It is a crack fic after all. I think I have officially lost it. **


	2. Arthur

**Second crack. **

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><p><strong>Drunken Dreams<strong>

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><p><strong>Arthur<br>Ballroom Blitz by Sweet**

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><p>Arthur looked around him smirking.<p>

He was in his favorite ballroom, in his favorite tux. With his favorite girl, Araidne. He pulled her out onto the dancefloor.

_Are you ready, Steve? Aha._  
><em>Andy? Yeah! Mick? OK.<em>  
><em>Alright, fellas, let's go!<em>

Ariadne smiled, as the two started to tango, just like Arthur's mother had taught him to.

_Oh it's been getting so hard_  
><em>Livin' with the things you do to me, aha<em>  
><em>Oh my dreams are getting so strange<em>  
><em>I'd like to tell you everything I see<em>

Arthur felt himself singing along, thinking of the relevance his dream song had to his life. He hardly noticed he was drunk, and that Cobb was crying at the back of the room.

_Oh, I see a man at the back_  
><em>As a matter of fact his eyes are red as the sun<em>  
><em>And a girl in the corner let no one ignore her<em>  
><em>'Cause she thinks she's the passionate one<em>

He finally noticed Cobb crying, well blubbering, away in the corner, his eyes red and puffy. He also saw Mal in the corner, flirting with everyone who walked by.

Even _women_.

_Oh, yeah, it was like lightning, everybody was frightening_  
><em>And the music was soothing, and they all started grooving<em>

He felt the gravity shift around him, and the chandeleirs move. He watched as the projection stared at him and he realized he wasn't in his own dream.

_Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah_  
><em>And the man at the back said<em>

Suddenly Cobb stood up laughing hystericly and screamed;

"EVERYONE ATTACK!"

_and it turned into a ballroom blitz_

Arthur pulled out his gun, kicking the nearest projection, letting Ariadne go. She turned on her own, roundkicking another projection. Eames ran into the center, Yusuf following suit.

They started to fight the projection, whilst the poor band continued to play.

_And the girl in the corner said_

Mal stood up, ran over to Cobb and punched him.

She turned to Arthur and winked, saying "Boy, I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a ballroom blitz.

_Ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz,  
>ballroom blitz. B<em>_allroom blitz_

The team were frantically fighting the projections now, but Arthur realized, this was his dream. So he took over, slamming two of the mens heads together, shotting another. He began to sing along.

_Oh reaching out for something_  
><em>Touching nothing's all I ever do <em>  
><em>Oh I softly call you over <em>  
><em>When you appear there's nothing left of you<em>

Arthur looks around, now fully aware he's dreaming, and that he really is drunk.

"Eames." He mutters.

_And the man in the back is ready to crack_  
><em>As he raises his hands to the sky<em>

Cobb ran onto the stage, throwing his hands in the air, muttering random curses, pulling out a crucifix.

_And the girl in the corner is everyone's mourner_  
><em>She could kill you with a wink of her eye<em>

Mal sat in the corner, shaking her head at every gunshot heard. Arthur kicked another projection, turning to Ariadne to kiss her quickly. She smirked, kneeding him in the groin.

_Oh Yeah! It was electric_  
><em>So frantically hectic <em>  
><em>And the band started leaving <em>  
><em>Cause they all stopped breathing<em>

Eames shot the band singer, and ran onto the stage grabbing the mike, a bear in his other hand and began to finish the song, as Arthur fought his way through the projections, Cobb cryed, and Saito made out with the bar owners wife.

_"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah-Yeah-Yeah  
>And the man in the back said everyone attack<br>And it turned into a ballroom blitz  
>And the girl in the corner said boy I want to warn you<br>It'll turn into a ballroom blitz  
>Ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz" <em>

Arthur raised an eyebrow, turning back to Ariadne, who was sitting on a dead projection, swaying to the music like a drunkard.

"What the hell?" He muttered.

_"Oh Yeah! It was like lightning  
>Everybody was frightening<br>And the music was soothing  
>And they all started grooving." <em>

He looked up at Eames, who was quite enjoying himself singing along to the song.

_"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah-Yeah-Yeah  
>And the man in the back said everyone attack<br>And it turned into a ballroom blitz  
>And the girl in the corner said boy I want to warn you<br>It'll turn into a ballroom blitz  
>Ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz." <em>

Yusuf appeared out of no where, starting a congo line around the dead bodies, and Mal was at the back in Limbo.

Not the mind state.

The fucking _game._

_"It's it's ballroom blitz  
>It's it's ballroom blitz<br>It's it's ballroom blitz  
>Yeah, it's ballroom blitz" <em>

Arthur was never going to drink with Eames again.

.

**END. **

**Yup.. it's a ballroom blitz. **__


	3. Ariadne

**Third crack. I need therpy. For real. **

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><p><strong>Drunken Dreams<strong>

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><p><strong>Ariadne<br>Stuck in the Middle with You by Stealers Wheel**

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><p><em>Well I don't know why I came here tonight,<em>  
><em>I got the feeling that something ain't right,<em>  
><em>I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,<br>And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,_

Ariadne looked down at the two legged chair she was on and screamed. She sighed slightly, as she looked around the pleasant(ish) atmosphere of the bar. She ordered a lemonade.

_Clowns to the left of me,_

She turned to her left, suddenly seeing Cobb sat next to her, adorned in a clowns outfit, red afro, matching nose, face paint, stupid outfit.

Even the damned clown shoes.

_Jokers to the right, here I am,_

She heard someone clear his throat and saw Eames to her right, looking exactly like Heath Ledger did as the Joker.

She screamed.

_"Stuck in the middle with you." _

She turned to the man who had sung that line, finding it was Arthur, as the bartender, leaning close to her, continuing to sing.

_Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,  
>And I'm wondering what it is I should do,<br>It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,  
>Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,<em>

She screamed again, slapping Arthur. He laughed, continuing to sing. Cobb next to her started crying and slammed a pie into his face.

_Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,  
>Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.<em>

Eames pulled out a deck of cards, fanning them out at her.

"Pick one, darling."

_Well you started out with nothing,_  
><em>And you're proud that you're a self made man,<em>  
><em>And your friends, they all come crawlin,<em>

She shakily reached out and took out a card, looking at it.

"It's the King of Saito isn't it?"

She screamed again.

_Slap you on the back and say,_  
><em>Please... Please...<em>

She felt Cobb grasp her back, the pie still on his face, tears streaming down his face.

"Don't pick another card..." He whispered, sounding disillusional.

_Trying to make some sense of it all,_  
><em>But I can see that it makes no sense at all,<em>  
><em>Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor,<em>

She turned back to Arthur, who was still singing. She reached for another card, pulling it out and looking at it.

"Jack of Yusuf?"

The Yusuf in the card winked, flicking her off.

_'Cause I don't think that I can take anymore_  
><em>Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,<em>  
><em>Here I am, stuck in the middle with you<em>

"You guys are crazy!" She screamed, getting up, feeling her arms squished.

Someone had glued Cobb to her left side, and Eames to her right.

_Well you started out with nothing,_  
><em>And you're proud that you're a self made man,<em>  
><em>And your friends, they all come crawlin,<em>  
><em>Slap you on the back and say,<em>  
><em>Please... Please...<em>

She turned to Arthur, staring at him.

"What the hell!"

He put the cap on the glue, and shrugged, standing next to her, suddenly breakdancing.

_Well I don't know why I came here tonight,_  
><em>I got the feeling that something ain't right,<em>  
><em>I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,<em>  
><em>And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs<em>

Yusuf popped out of nowhere, a rose in his mouth, and started to tango with Saito, as Arthur danced his ass off.

She fainted.

But Cobb cushioned her fall.

_Clowns to the left of me,_  
><em>Jokers to the right, here I am,<em>  
><em>Stuck in the middle with you,<em>  
><em>Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,<em>  
><em>Stuck in the middle with you.<em>

She was suddenly standing over her grave, reading the marker. On both sides there were markers, and she read what they said, letting out a growl.

_RIP Ronald McDonald_

_RIP Heath Ledger_

"EAMES!" She screamed.

.

**END. **

**More to come, stay tuned. **


	4. Eames

**Fourth. Yeah I am very crazy. **

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><p><strong>Drunken Dreams<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Eames<br>Dude (Looks Like a Lady) by Aerosmith**

* * *

><p>The first thing Eames did was scream.<p>

Like a girl.

Which was ironic in so many ways.

_That, that) Dude looks like a lady_  
><em>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady<em>  
><em>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady<em>  
><em>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady<em>

He was never drinking that vodka again. Somehow he ended up in a pink miniskirt, matching heels and a blouse. He turned around to see Saito on a stage outside a cafe, singing into the microphone.

_Cruised into a bar on the shore_  
><em>Her picture graced the grime on the door<em>  
><em>She a long lost love at first bite<em>

He looked around for a way to cover himself up, but there was none. He was in a damned big city, on the side of the street. He glared at Saito, who winked.

"I'm not a bloody women, Saito! What the fuck!" He screamed, holding his skirt down.

_Baby maybe you're wrong, but you know it's all right_  
><em>That's right<em>

He headed down the street, clutching the skirt, feeling everyone look at him. People walked past, some giggled, some grinned, others looked at him in disgust. He felt one man touch his ass. He swerved around punching him. The man laughed.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

_(That, that)_  
><em>(That, that)<em>

_Backstage we're having the time_  
><em>Of our lives until somebody say<em>  
><em>Forgive me if I seem out of line<em>

He took off his heel, aiming at Saito's head as the man continued to sing. He chucked it, accidently hitting a little kid in the audience crowded around Saito instead. The woman pulled out a gun.

_Then she whipped out her gun_  
><em>And tried to blow me away<em>

He ran up the street, meeting Saito's stage again.

"The hell?"

He kept walking around the streets, always ending near Saito's concert. He bumped into someone, and turned, seeing Ariadne saunter past him, singing.

_"(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady<br>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady"<em>

He glared at her, hoisting his skirt down as far as it would go, pulling of the other heel, chucking it at Saito again. The heel hit the same child and the same woman pulled out a gun.

He ran around the corner again.

_So never judge a book by it's cover  
>Or who you're going to love by your lover<br>Love put me wise to her love in disguise  
>She had the body of a venus<br>Lord imagine my surprise_

Someone threw a book at his head, and he turned back to Saito, who was rocking out on the stage.

"Shut up, you bloody ass!"

Saito continued to sing, pointing behind Eames, who turned.

Yusuf walked past him, wide eyed, and sung exactly like Ariadne.

_"(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady<br>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady"<em>

He watched as both Yusuf and Ariadne got up on stage, singing along with Saito now. Eames, clutched his blouse closer to him, suddenly realizing he was wearing a wig.

A womans wig.

_Baby let me follow you down_  
><em>Let me take a peek dear<em>  
><em>Baby let me follow you down<em>  
><em>Do me, do me, do me all night<em>

He looked up to the stage again, watching his three teammates rock out, and suddenly he was picked up, and was crowd surfing.

This was seriously getting freaky.

_Baby let me follow you down_  
><em>Turn the other cheek dear<em>  
><em>Baby let me follow you down<em>  
><em>Do me, do me, do me, do me<em>

Suddenly Yusuf whipped out a guitar and started to do a solo, while Ariadne was dancing on a pole. Saito continued to sing.

_Ooh what a funky lady_  
><em>She like it, like it, like it, like that,<em>  
><em>Ooh he was a lady<em>

Eames got down off the people and continued to stand on the street watching people walk past him, laughing.

Arthur walked past him, his hands casually in his pockets, singing. Eames glared, pulling his skirt down again.

_"(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady<br>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady<br>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady<br>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
>(That, that) Dude looks like a lady"<em>

He watched as Arthur walked onto the stage, joining the others, pulling out a guitar too as Saito continued to sing/scream into the microphone.

Eames looked around, sighing, and was pushed into Cobb. He turned to his friend, watching the man smirk, and also sing.

_"Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady  
>Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady<br>Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady  
>Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady"<em>

Cobb ran up onto the stage and the whole team continued to sing, as Eames was still trying to cover himself up. Someone pushed Eames to the front of the crowd as all of his friends sung into the microphone.

_"(That that) ya ya ya yya ya yya ya chit chit yaow_

_(That, that)  
>(That, that)" <em>

Eames pulled a tissue out of his purse and started crying.

.

**END. **

**LMFAO. This was the funnest yet. Two more to come, unless I decide to do Nash and Fischer. **


	5. Yusuf

**Fifth. I know it fails. **

* * *

><p><strong>Drunken Dreams<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Yusuf<br>Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crew**

* * *

><p><em>Yeah yeah<em>  
><em>Rat-tailed Jimmy is a second hand hood<em>  
><em>Deals out in Hollywood<em>  
><em>Got a '65 Chevy, primered flames<em>  
><em>Traded for some powdered goods<em>

As soon as Yusuf heard the singing he knew he was dreaming. And that he was potentially drunk.

He looked around the hospital.

_Jigsaw Jimmy he's the one in the game_  
><em>But I hear he's doin' o.k.<em>  
><em>Got a cozy little job selling the Mexican mob<em>  
><em>Packages the candycaine<em>

Wait, _hospital?_ Yusuf sighed, realising he was wearing doctor scrubs.

"How the hell do these lyrics relate to anything?" He shouted.

_He's the one they call Dr. Feel good_  
><em>He's the one that makes ya feel all right<em>  
><em>He's the one they call Dr. Feel good<em>

Over the hospital intercom, a woman's voice said gently.

"Paging Dr. Feelgood. Room 6." Yusuf raised an eyebrow, looking down at his nametag, realising she meant him. He headed down the hallway.

_Cops on the corner always ignore_  
><em>Somebody's getting paid<em>  
><em>Jimmy's got it wired, law's for hire<em>  
><em>Got it made in the shade<em>  
><em>Got a little hideaway, does business all day<em>

"Again no relation!" He yelled as he walked into room six, taking in the sight.

Arthur was standing at the window, his arm rested on the wall. Cobb was leaned on the wall near him, Eames was sat in a chair, and Ariadne was layed on the bed.

_But at night he'll always be found_  
><em>Sellin' sugar to the sweet<em>  
><em>People on the street<em>  
><em>Call this Jimmy's town<em>

They all turned to him smiling, and started singing, all getting up and sauntering closer to him, Eames pulling him in the room, closing the door.

_"He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood  
>He's the one that makes ya feel all right<br>He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood  
>He's gonna be your Frankenstein<br>I've got one thing you'll understand  
>(Dr. Feelgood)<br>he's not what you'd call a glamorous man  
>(Dr. Feelgood)<br>Got one thing that's easily understood  
>(Dr. Feelgood)<br>He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood  
>Oh yeah"<em>

"What the-" Arthur cut him off, covering his mouth with his hand, and Ariadne walked closer to him, her fingers stroking his chest. Cobb and Eames stood on either side of him.

_He'll tell you he's the king  
>Of these barrio streets<br>Moving up the shangri-la  
>Came by his wealth as a matter of luck<br>Says he never broke no law  
>Two time loser running out of juice<em>

"You're right, the lyrics have no relevance." Cobb murmurs, playing with the shoulder of Yusuf's jacket, Arthur released Yusuf's mouth and played with the other shoulder, Eames standing behind Yusuf.

"This seems more like what Eames would dream about." Arthur muttered, stepping a bit closer, Ariadne following suit, her fingers still tracing Yusuf's jacket.

_Time to move out quick_  
><em>Heard a rumour going round<em>  
><em>Jimmy's going down<em>  
><em>This time it's gonna stick<em>

Eames poked Yusuf's back, as Cobb and Arthur at the same time pulled Yusuf's jacket off. Ariadne wound her hands around Yusuf's tie loosening it. The continued to sing, ignoring Yusuf's yells and curses.

_"He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood_  
><em>He's the one that makes ya feel all right<em>  
><em>He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood<em>  
><em>He's gonna be your Frankenstein"<em>

Yusuf looks around suddenly raising an eyebrow.

"Wait.. where's Saito?"

Saito steps out of the bathroom in nothing but a patients dress, singing along.

Yusuf screams.

_"Let him soothe your soul, just take his hand  
>(Dr. Feelgood)<br>Some people call him an evil man  
>(Dr. Feelgood)<br>Let him introduce himself real good  
>(Dr. Feelgood)<br>He's the only one they call Feelgood"_

"I think I'm going to give up being a chemist..." Yusuf winces, feeling everyone crowded around him, suddenly dancing, pulling at his shirt. Saito crawls towards him playing with his thighs.

"Listen to Jimmy, come play with ..." Saito murmurs. Yusuf's eyes widen.

"Who the hell is Jimmy?"

The four of them continue to sing.

_"I've got one thing you'll understand  
>(Dr. Feelgood)<br>he's not what you'd call a glamorous man  
>(Dr. Feelgood)<br>Got one thing that's easily understood  
>(Dr. Feelgood)<br>He's the one they call Dr. Feel good  
>oh yeah<br>Dr. Feelgood (Dr. Feelgood)  
>Dr. Feelgood (Dr. Feelgood)<br>Dr. Feelgood (Dr. Feelgood)" _

Yusuf sighs, hoping the music is over just as he feels his shirt being peeled off of him. He is about to wake up when Eames lets out a chuckle from behind him.

"Jizzed in my pants." He says in a creepy voice.

Yusuf passes out.

.

**END. **

**Sorry this one was a bit crappy, my bad. One more. **


	6. Saito

**I think I'll do Mal too. This should be fun. Heh. By the way, I thought of this while reading a crack fic called "Peacock" and drinking coffee. xD**

* * *

><p><strong>Drunken Dreams<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Saito<br>Material Girl by Madonna**

* * *

><p>Saito looked around, exhaling gently. He was stood at the stop of a red staircase. Nothing out of the normal. He looked down at his attire, sighing loudly.<p>

He had to admit he looked sexy in a red dress.

_Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me_  
><em>I think they're okay<em>  
><em>If they don't give me proper credit<em>  
><em>I just walk away<em>

He looked around for the source of the singing, but couldn't find it, before realizing he was singing it.

"Holy shit."

Suddenly Arthur, Cobb, Yusuf and Eames appeared next to him on the stairs, two on each side. He raised an eyebrow, and then frowned.

"How the hell do you guys get suits and I get a damn dress?"

_They can beg and they can plead_  
><em>But they can't see the light, that's right, that's right<em>  
><em>'Cause the boy with the cold hard cash<em>  
><em>Is always Mister Right<em>

Arthur and Eames, on either side of him walked down a step, then back up, dancing to the music slightly. Yusuf and Cobb behind them followed suit. Saito continued singing, unable to stop.

_'Cause we are living in a material world_  
><em>And I am a material girl<em>  
><em>You know that we are living in a material world<em>  
><em>And I am a material girl<em>

He joined in their stair dancing, stepping up a step then down, then two, almost tripping on his heels.

_Some boys romance, some boys slow dance_  
><em>That's alright with me<em>  
><em>If they can't raise my interest then I<em>  
><em>Have to let them be<em>

The men around him started to singing "living in a material world", until they reached a few stairs from the bottom.

_Some boys try and some boys lie but_  
><em>I don't let them play, no way, no way<em>  
><em>Only boys that save their pennies<em>  
><em>Make my rainy day<em>

He watched as Mal and Ariadne emerged from one side, his wife, Ami and his ahem, married girlfriend Lisa on the other side.

Wearing tuxes like the men.

_'Cause they are living in a material world_  
><em>And I am a material girl<em>  
><em>You know that we are living in a material world<em>  
><em>And I am a material girl<em>

Arthur and Eames suddenly grabbed under his arms, lifting him up from the stairs, putting him on the ground.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

_Living in a material world_  
><em>(Material)<em>  
><em>Living in a material world<em>  
><em>Living in a material world<em>  
><em>(Material)<em>  
><em>Living in a material world<em>

Everyone else sung around him, dancing, pulling him around, and then his eye twitched.

He was actually starting to enjoy this.

Saito screamed.

_Boys may come and boys may go_  
><em>And that's alright you see<em>  
><em>Experience has made me rich<em>  
><em>And now they're after me<em>

Yusuf pulled out a fur scarf from behind his back and put it around Saito, and Mal and Ariadne put Saito in red gloves.

Cobb stepped forward with a jeweled necklace, as Saito and the woman continued to sing.

_'Cause everybody's living in a material world_  
><em>And I am a material girl<em>  
><em>You know that we are living in a material world<em>  
><em>And I am a material girl<em>

Saito walked up the stairs again, and back down a step, making a dance of it, as the men surrounded him on both sides, and the women started dancing on the red carpet below. Saito stroked his fur scarf.

_Living in a material world_  
><em>And I am a material girl<em>  
><em>You know that we are living in a material world<em>  
><em>And I am a material girl<em>

_A material, a material_  
><em>A material, a material world<em>

He stood at the top of the stairs again, suddenly being surrounded by the men again. Arthur smirked, and Eames grinned as they closed in on him. Ariadne, Mal, Ami, and Lisa crawled up the stairs, surrounding the men, who started to sing.

"Uh... guys..." Saito said, clutching his wrap around him, scared.

_"Living in a material world  
>(Material)<br>Living in a material world  
>Living in a material world<br>(Material)  
>Living in a material world"<em>

Saito screamed as they all encircled him, closing in on him.

_"Living in a material world  
>(Material)<br>Living in a material world  
>Living in a material world<br>(Material)  
>Living in a material world."<em>

_._

**END. **

**LMFAOLMFAO. Best yet.. again. They should make a music video out of this xD Maybe one more, just for Mal. **


	7. Mal

**Alright, I'm not going to do a Fischer one for now, no idea what to put. It'll just end up failing at crack. If thats possible. **

* * *

><p><strong>Drunken Dreams<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Mal<br>Judas by Lady Gaga**

* * *

><p>Mal didn't even know how the hell she got here. She was dead.<p>

Eames, she thought, shaking her head.

She looked around the biker bar with the huge staircase. She watched all the men surround someone, but she couldn't see who.

_Ohohohoh_  
><em>I'm in love with Judas<em>  
><em>Ohohohoh<em>  
><em>I'm in love with Judas<em>

Mal frowned.

"Who the hell is Judas?"

_Judas! Judaas Judas! Judaas_  
><em>Judas! Judaas Judas! GAGA<em>

The crowd opened up, and Mal saw Cobb with a flower crown around his head, wearing a biker jacket.

She held back a laugh.

_When he comes to me I am ready_  
><em>I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs<em>  
><em>Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain<em>  
><em>Even after three times he betrays me<em>

She walks over to Cobb, seeing Arthur at his side, also in a biker jacket.

_I'll bring him down, bring him down, down_  
><em>A king with no crown, king with no crown<em>

"Dom, what are you doing?" She shouts over the music, seeing him start to dance.

She frowns, suddenly dancing herself, all the men dancing around her in sync.

_I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby he's so cruel_  
><em>But I'm still in love with Judas, baby<em>  
><em>I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby he's so cruel<em>  
><em>But I'm still in love with Judas, baby<em>

She tries to stop herself from dancing, but is unable to.

"I'M AN ATHEIST!" She screams.

_Ohohohoh_  
><em>I'm in love with Judas<em>  
><em>Ohohohoh<em>  
><em>I'm in love with Judas<em>

_Judas! Judaas Judas! Judaas_  
><em>Judas! Judaas Judas! GAGA<em>

She continues to dance until the dancing turns into fighting around her, and she starts singing, as Cobb pulls her out of the crowd and Arthur hands her a gun.

_I couldn't love a man so purely_  
><em>Even prophets forgave his crooked way<em>  
><em>I've learned love is like a brick you can<em>  
><em>Build a house or sink a dead body<em>

Arthur gestures for her to shoot the man, and Cobb nods in agreement, so she puts the gun to his head, wincing as she pulls the trigger waiting for a gunshot.

_I'll bring him down, bring him down, down_  
><em>A king with no crown, king with no crown<em>

It never comes, so she looks down at her gun, seeing it is a lipstick. She laughs, drawing a penis on the man's face.

_I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby he's so cruel_  
><em>But I'm still in love with Judas, baby<em>  
><em>I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby he's so cruel<em>  
><em>But I'm still in love with Judas, baby<em>

Cobb and Arthur look at her as if she is crazy. She shrugs, throwing the gun on the ground. And walks back into the crowd of men, watching as they start dancing along with her.

"Whatevers going on, I like this!" She yells laughing.

_Ohohohoh_  
><em>I'm in love with Judas<em>  
><em>Ohohohoh<em>  
><em>I'm in love with Judas<em>

Cobb start dancing next to her along with Arthur.

_In the most Biblical sense,_  
><em>I am beyond repentance<em>  
><em>Fame hooker, prostitute wench, vomits her mind<em>  
><em>But in the cultural sense<em>  
><em>I just speak in future tense<em>  
><em>Judas, kiss me if offenced,<em>  
><em>Or wear an ear condom next time<em>

Miles comes in front of her and starts a breakdancing contest.

_I wanna love you,_  
><em>But something's pulling me away from you<em>  
><em>Jesus is my virtue,<em>  
><em>Judas is the demon I cling to<em>  
><em>I cling to<em>

She stops dancing, staring at her father.

"DAD?"

Miles smirks, and Cobb and Arthur join in the break dancing.

_I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby he's so cruel_  
><em>But I'm still in love with Judas, baby<em>  
><em>I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby he's so cruel<em>  
><em>But I'm still in love with Judas, baby<em>

She throws her hands in the air, and turns around, sighing.

"I am most definately drunk."

She looks down at herself, seeing she is now dressed in a robe. She laughs.

"Yep. Dead and drunk."

_Ohohohoh_  
><em>I'm in love with Judas<em>  
><em>Ohohohoh<em>  
><em>I'm in love with Judas<em>

_Judas! Judaas Judas! Judaas_  
><em>Judas! Judaas Judas! GAGA<em>

She turns back around to the men and faints right on the spot as Miles starts to dance on a stripper pole.

.

**END. **

**please don't picture that. xD Again holding off of Fischer for now. D;**


End file.
